Nope, this isn't a figment of your imagination, I am really posting. I know it's been awhile, apologies for that, but I'm here and I'm posting again, thought It was about time I started posting again.
So what's been happening with me, well for one thing I met Ben Mansfield in July, I've actually met him and I've touched him ;) it was probably thee best day/evening of my life. For those who might not know who Ben Mansfield is he plays Captain Becker in Primeval and he is so friendly and down to earth and just really lovely in real life. I went to Bath in July to see him in Henry VI Part 1, met some of the ladies from
primeval_denial as well while I was there, and they made me feel so welcome and I had a great weekend. I went down on the Friday on my own, second time going on the train on my own was still a bit nervous but felt proud of myself, and was on my own for a couple of hours before I met up with one of them, and then we met up with the others on the Saturday which was the day of the show and when I met Ben. And I got his autograph. And I would love to meet him again. Would also love to meet Ciaran McMenamin.
I know I'm a little late in posting this but it really was a great weekend and I enjoyed every minute of it and I would DEFINITELY do it again, I'd also go away on my own again like I did last year in York, it's not that I don't want to go away with friends but I do quite like going away on my own I can please myself and do the things I want to. I'm a tourist kind of person, I love history and I love exploring the sights of a place, especially old houses, to some that might make me sound really boring but to be honest I don't really care if it does, I'm not the kind of person who likes to spend all of their holiday sunbathing on the beach, that's not to say I don't like the beach, but to spend all your holiday on the beach now that to me is boring, but I get that some people enjoy that and that's fair enough, but I'm not ashamed to admit that I love exploring a place and learning about the history of a place.
Well I finally got the courage up a few months ago to tell my parents and sister that I won't to join the Army, well I had to write it down because I was having trouble saying it out loud, but they know and it wasn't as bad as I thought it be, their reactions weren't as bad as I thought they would be. I guess I was worrying to much, but I couldn't help it, I wasn't very happy at the time, I went to counseling actually in June/July and it's helped a lot but there are still days where I'm feeling down and not feeling any confidence in myself. And I know I need to believe in myself and I do try, but sometimes I still find myself worrying about what other people think of me when I know that it shouldn't matter, I just can't help it. And when it comes to guys, well that's a whole other story, I can't help but think that no guy would find me attractive or want to go out with me, and I know I shouldn't, that I should learn to love myself but it really isn't easy. I also find it a little pathetic that I've not really had a boyfriend before and it just makes me feel even worse...basically it's a vicious circle.
And I think I need to stop there for now, because otherwise I might end up bawling my eyes out. I think I need to go and watch The Vampire Diaries or Sanctuary to cheer me up.